Jabjotha Desert Scarab OPPRESSORBADNESS Jabjotha, Yarkastan Jabber Telallah

Once again Oppressorbad has closed it's borders. During the night Concrete Barriers were erected on the Afeekashban,Dogchewigrad, and Cappochino Railroad. Agog and Podunk report similar closures. Gray tanks have been spotted on maneuvers in the disputed territory north of the Asp River. Oppressorbad officials are silent, and the Hemmer Confederation denys any involvement in the armored incursion. His Excellency the Pooba of Yarkastan has put negotiations with Agog on hold, possibly to avoid further antagonizing the government of Oppressorbad. Chairman Glumjaw, Oppressorbad's aging dictator, is not known to have made a public appearance since the Annual Freezuary 13th Parade in Styrofoamybad. Rumors that he is being succeeded by a government of hardliners possibly headed by Party Secretary Punknose are unconfirmed at this time.

Kiltrash Examiner Trade Resumes! Kiltrash, Earldom of Ear Jock Mcintosh This afternoon a new trade agreement between the Earldom and the Marquisate of Gueret goes into effect, ending the 10 month import ban Gueret had imposed on Earish wool and mutton. The glut of wool, and the scarcity of Gueret butter and guapamolotl Chocolotl brought new experiments in cuisine from our enterprising island nation. Among our successes; a margarine of wool lanolin and sheep milk, and a 'chocolate' bar whose recipe is a secret, though it does use sheep products. (It tastes brown in this editor's opinion.) Also Potatoscotch, a butterscotch alternative, and a potato/Lanolin shortbread cookie. No matter the hardships our National breakfast of kippers and groats has remained unchanged! Speaking today from Perpiggy in the Marquisate the Earl of Ear had this to say; "It ghives me grrreat joy ta see our wee dif'rences sa well patched upp!" The Marquis of Gueret in his turn at the podium declared; "Hit Eees Joyeuse that Fraternite et diplomacee can overcome le differahncees of zees too grreat peoples! Viva la diffherance!" The Ambassador of Dundoon pleaded no comment on the development though unconfirmed rumors that Dundoon has expanded it's submarine fleet does give one pause. Dundoon and Summartha continue to be the Marquisates principle markets, so it is unlikely that Gueret has signed any military agreements with our Earldom. The old treaties remain in force however, providing for a naval alliance with Gueret in case of war with Illee.

TREATY WITH PODUNK From the Drawingboard Daily Wind, Squigglesbottom, Queendom of Ilee Olander Prigg reporting The Queen spoke today amid the Roses of her Retreat at Skigglesbottom. Her Majesty was pleased to announce a Tripartate Friendship and Trade Treaty between the Queendom, The 2nd Polyester Freestate, and Podunk. She praised the work of her royal sister, the Dame of Winklewikky, Special Envoy to the Freestate and Podunk. Meanwhile the tension mounts with Podunk's nieghbor Oppressorbad whose Satrap has said Very Nasty Things about our beloved Queen. Podunk is, in addition, fending off Etrulian accusations of overfishing the Bronx River, a ridiculous claim from a nation which has 7 barge fish factories on the river itself. It is a concern with this editor that we may be drawn into a general war. Certainly the Ministry of the Military cannot be seriously contemplating involving our valiant small army on the continent? Who could consience such folly?