say, saw the local Newsfeed for planet Basementable;

Greetings Citizens!

      Dastarius Politicus presided over games this Friggasday!  Team White was favored to win, but the famous Ogre  and Angry decided to spend most of the race enraged, large bitemarks were removed from the White Chariot.  The surprise of the race was Team Blue, whose new and unknown Graviteer showed great fortitude coming from last place to win the day.  Red fans were disapointed when Red's early lead seemed to evaporate in the last circuit. This first race of the season, with all new slave charioteers pleased the crowd well, but Politicus promises that these rube riders will be exercised hard before the next fair so that much more impressive performances can be delivered.  Thuggius Beatumups  the White team leader promises that the new white graviteer; one Contrarius, will be soundly beaten and sweated before the next race, and made an apology to the White fans that included a bag of obols thrown into the white stands, the resultant riot maimed 200 and led to 10 deaths. Thus did the races end on a positive note.  Vivax Imperator!